She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
