I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
