I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
