her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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