hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
