my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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