he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
