I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
