can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
