Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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