Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
