My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
