Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
