haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
