just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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