You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
