I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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