she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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