this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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