Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
