so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
