Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
