Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
