Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
