she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
