yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Is it penis luge time yet?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
