My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
