butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Operation Purity has been aborted
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
