i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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