Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize