OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He kissed a someone with a penis
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
