i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
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I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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