last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize