I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
