Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
