these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
