I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
