ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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