i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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