i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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