I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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