my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
