my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
