all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I would ride that face into the sunset
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
