I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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