HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
