Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
