Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
