Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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