bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
