from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
