Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
where am i from again
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
