I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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