One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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