Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
