Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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