Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
