HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
