There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
