So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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