Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
