the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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