The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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