I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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