i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
